PS # 01 . Fight With Lin

Yesterday evening, she was telling me why she is sorry, so that she should have comforted me, and all… She was all in. And we were having good couple like going.

Then we had a fight. She mentioned the visa restriction and then after 6 months I will go for the Vipassana and then she will take the flat. She was not sure of anything, she was just telling me about all this.

I got angry about her dual response, where she has both yes and no. And then she was worried about minor things. I know this because I had all these thoughts.

Then I said make your decision first, use wisdom, and I know her decision. I didn’t like this both way consideration, I will buy house here in case that etc… And this minor issue solving. I am Jassica etc.

And she reply that you said It is ok for me both ways, And tomorrow you can come back from vipassana and than say something else.

Then I just exploded with I am doing you a favor speech, it is hard for me, and my family, and let’s cancel it. If it is not a maybe then better I don’t. it is exactly the same thing happens when I tell her to dress better.

and I said more of the things she didn’t want to hear. Before you were saying you want to get married. When I thought my convienece it is not a good idea, when I think of you really good idea etc…

All the while I was clicking all three youtube, Ldin, etc…

My intent was anger not to help her or make the relationship better.

What is the solution?
First of all, the point of relationship is not that she exist to satisfy me, or make my life better. It is for enhancing both of the people life.

She was telling me and being unsure about everything. And making sure all the scenarios are covered. In reality, She was missing out on everything.

Instead of listening and understanding her point of view, I became angry and told her I am doing favor to her. Lets end it. And she became defensive. This is where relationship could have been strengthen but I weeken it.

She is struggling with some of her attachment that I said I am ok with or without her. And she was making suggestion as well. That I should say it that way, it would be nice.