PS #01. Fight With Lin

She was unsure about everything and try to solve all the scenarios and not really solve any scenario. Buy a house here and in Bangalore, Stay here for six months. I will go to Vipassana etc. I know this state very well. I have been there for years.

In this case, the best approach is to be a listener and see what are the different things she is trying to balance. And communicate it is better to choose one and let go of other. You have to see what is good for her in that.

I am doing you favor etc. while the good way would have been ask her what she wants, and give her your suggestions. #

I am doing you a favour and it is hard for me, and my family etc. Lets just cancel it. was just not a good reactive response to I can not come to the place because of my condition. I should have understood her problem and help her to make better choice. Also when you are in that state of click bait avoid responding.

This judgment and scolding is never a good idea, it means I can not handle certain scenarios. In this case her abmgious response is the one I could not handle, She has the right to be ambigous, and you have a write to make a decision, but screaming and shouting because of you can not handle is not a good idea.

Appreciate when she does something good, She yesterday was bringing her suggestion about how could I have said the same thing differently.

She was bringing a good suggestion than appricate her.

Address othe person concerns, and tell her yours.

She mentioned I don’t love her, and I could move out becuase of Vipassana. Both are valid concern. Atleast let her know you understand her. and see if they can be solved.

Also there is something I didn’t like, that I am not Jassica, Her response about my parents. Or being ambigious.

Have a vision. What this relationship is about. Is it about she serving me? is about two people sharing their life together. Is it about ease. Sharing our life together, Being there when other person needs me.

She was telling me what are the things she is struggling with. Me saying I am ok with both ways, she is also ok with both ways, it was more of emotional reaction. Then she also told me how she wanted me to say it.

The more I push the more she resist.

There are 2 things she told me that makes her worried. That I don’t love her, and desire her, and I might leave her in the future.

There is also needs to be the vision of the relationship.