tamas.

this state of mind when things are very sticky. and hopelessely pulling me towards them. I can see how everybody is causing me pain. protacting my self image from me and other. things are uncertain. peoples are projecting happyness. and I am out of touch. shouting inside and outside. there is this emotional feeling which feels like I am walking in hot summer day for hours. I somewhat feels like there is no hope in anything. in book, in this, in that. there is only direct expericne. unlike now I really don’t have any rope. or anything to lean towards.