Bump #01 - not understanding why.
Yesterday and today, Even though I continued working, There was a sense of relpaltion or internal aversion. I wasn’t finding the meaning in work. There was a slight physical headache, there is also a sense that I have been working for last few weeks constantly. The instruction were not that clear either. No clear why seems to be presented. At one level it felt like leader threw few papers and ask to work on it. Also there might be a bit overload of pratices to follow. And no clear parameter wether what I am doing is working or not. An activity trap it feels like.
The repealtion - The repleltion of not knowing why. Just doing it for the sake of doing it. How exactly this fits in big picture. This confusion, uncertainty or Congnative ease. Clarity, growing and rewiring your brain to live this one little life as fully as it can lived. Reaching a place of wisdom where you can see causes and condition of everything clearly. Know what is right and what is wrong action, can understand crystal clearly, not just that you have habits and mind that are inline to reality, not the chaotic mental hell. You have removed the life draining causes of dissatisfaction. Little by little you grow. You need to have a faith that things will be great, even if you can’t see these state now ! How does doing this weeks task will help me get further into this goal. Is there anything else I can replace these task with which can help me to go further. Slowly you are reaching to the point where everything is deliberate, well thought out and integrated.
The slight headache - sometime it is happening like I have overused the muscle itself. There is only two things you can do. Message your head or just take a break, or look for solution on Internet.
Poor part from leadership - Everything is decided weekly basis with as much clarity as possible. But If I am unsure or unconfident First thing in the morning I need to be be clear. Without clearity don’t operate. If an idea is popping in head. Write it down we can replace it in the same week or next. I can also scrap or change the plan in between.
Overload of integration pratices - ok just do 4 log max at a time.
Progress parameter and activity trap - How exactly an integration looks like. For example 3ER what exactly your integration result should be. It is again leadership task. So whenever you have integration point make sure you understand the changes it should produce in future in all 3 areas of challenge.