CC#02 - mastering the crucial conversation.

Kevin ignored the apparent terror of his collegue, he niether resort to silence nor he try to force his argument, but did in such a way that showed deep respect to his boss. Kevins contribution was not his insight.

Fools choice, speak up and make the most powerful person in company your enemy, suffer in silence. We learn it from early age, do you like my food, means do you like me? And then from that moments we find plenty of moments with boss, collegue, loved ones, and line cutter. How can I be 100% honest and respectful?

Dialogue, when risky, controversial, emotional conversation, skilled people find a way to get all the relevant information out in open.

Filling the pool of shared meaning, each one of us enters conversation with out own opinion, feelin theories and experience, this makes our personal pool, when two people enters in a crucial conversation by definition they don’t share the same pool, our opinion differs I believe one, you another, I have one history you another. People who are best in dialogue make it safe for everyone to add their meaning in the pool. They don’t agree to all the ideas, but they make sure every idea find its way to open.

Individually smart people can collectively do stupid things. Not less then seven people wonder why he is operating in the food but said nothing. And because their idea remains in head, and never make it into the pool, they end up quietly critisizing, and passively resisting. We play salute and mute, give cold shoulder to be treated better. Sometime we rely on hints, sarcasm, looks of disgust. Other time we try to force our meaning, volince, discredit other. Make hurtful comment.

As one idea lead to another, they came up with an alternative that no one originally thought of. The pool of shared meaning is birthplace of synergy. And since meaning is shared people willingly act on whatever is the decision

The idea is to learn how to create the conditions in yourself and other that will make the dialogue the path of least resistance, or better how to make other people talk when they are nervous. And