clarity

if someone asked me what exactly i am looking for in one word. the answer would be clarity. and I think clarity has 2 elements.

intellectual understanding:

cognitively understanding how things are, how humans functions, why i work in certain way. what matters to me, atleast when I am in economy state of mind has tremendous value. in the more light I can finally start admitting to myself what are the wrong turns I’ve taken ( can you remember the last time you were wrong ? well thats what ego does it always makes you right ). small things i did which was not very skillful. things that are not working for me but I am still doing because of fear. to make sense out of why it is making me happy or sad.

the more understanding i’ve about myself and my surrounding the better i am equipped to live a better life. but knowing the right thing is different than acting on it. and trust me emotions doesn’t make it easy. knowing you should be calm when you are experiencing anger because it’s an affliction and very temporary and reacting skilfully at the face of anger is two different things. this is where come comes the second part of clarity

experiential knowledge:
when i have experiential knowledge, it changes emotional pattern itself. specially how I feel in certain situation is based more on my experiential knowledge rather than intellectual understanding. so far I was more focused on intellectual knowledge but now i am really excited more about experiential knowledge and this is what really exciting me now.

from my opinion the best way to gain more intellectual knowledge is reading books and there is no other way to experiential knowledge than go and experiment with life.

together experiential knowledge and intellectual understanding can provide actual clarity.