Doubts and Distraction.
But it is not like him ( Elon | Luice | AIB | Steve ) - the fear of choice, choosing one thing means leaving other things out. It is not as much I want to do what elon or steve or anyone else is doing, it is this vague, ambigious, assurance that I haven’t cross that option yet, that sense of safety, the path to mediocrity.
Lets imagin for a second that I want to do what Steve is doing creating iphone and awesome device how would I do it ? So I would master the art of slicion chip manufacture that might take an year or two, than software design on chip level, product design, managing endless people. Or what about elon am I willing to spend years to learn the depth of science ( like a learnt spirituality ) and than create the endless iteration on creating the toy. Is this sound like a good way to utilise the limited time of yours.
The truth is I don’t have interest to pursue these subjects for even a week. There is not even any option here. Everyone who is at the big league has spent decades of focus work to build their toys. I am the kind of person who will not spend single day on something that doesn’t click with me, on the other hand I am on my way in spending decades on things I care about and how exactly building toys make you happy. On the
The pursuit of ego - The Fame, expansion, acceptance, worship, women. People look at you for guidnece. You are popular. People admires you. Want to be like you. Isn’t that what drifts you over and over from your lane. What kind of people are these ? Whose fame, acceptance and worship you are commanding. The people who are looking for direction. People who want someone who tells them the easy path is great path. Lies. People who are looking for entertainment. Drunk. Meaningless. Sufferer. Do you want to become the poster of their reality. Do you want to lead them to even deeper hole so you could feel admired. Rich. Just imagine what voice in your head will do to you. And how about getting prisioned by them. And what about inavitable critisim.
What about women wouldn’t that be so great to be chased by supermodels, access to the finest body, is that what you are into ? You know there is another human being behind that aging fine body with a mind and the soul. Do you have enough heart to take advantage of the lost soul. Do you want to stay with an ego or the broken soul like Dona. Would you tolerate that much drama while being knocked off by the center is so much painful. For the sex with a fine body ? Popular body ? Or you want to be admired by others by showing of your possessions ? Are you willing to do this for rest of you life ? And what exactly you will be doing when not having sex ? Worshiping her ?
what about having real relationship and sex with people you like and admired. The people like you, the people who are playful and live on the layer of self. People who are genuinely sparked like you and willing to grow. The people who wants to share with you. What about a beautiful body and beautiful soul. Not gripping you like a shiny object or being covered by ego and games. Ready to move on with slight conflict. Why would an ego will ever compromise, why would a god would compromise.
Ego is the package. Are you will to dry the force of life. And go for control and planning of every move. How stressful it would be. Are you willing to live for comptiton ? Defend your titles and trophies ? Hopelessly attached to objects ? Stressed ? Chasing but never satisfied ? More ? Maybe sarrounded by fans but How about real loneliness ? How about loosing your intuition ? Feeling lost ? Groundless ? A compass based on selfishness. imagine the state of mind. Getting older with hopelessly gripping object that must be lost. Alone. Meaningless. Nothing to hold on. Deprived of life force as well as supply of praise.
The distraction of mind - you know it is just a thought and you do no it is impermanent. Are you trying to solve it permanently. I will do something else. What else ? I will take break ? What exactly that break will do ? As a human time is not the luxury we can afford. A lot of life’s can be served. A mastery could be achieved. So much could be learnt, experience and inhale before you move to other existence. Respect the energy of youth. The process of life is somewhat linear and if you spent more time ideal the less you would experience in its totality. Passing time ! Isn’t it desrespting the life itself. Instead of running for the bubble of rest, stand still, understand, fight, grow, penetrate it.