EFP #1

my attention is hanging in the air from last couple of days, as I have noticed before mind usually has a very marginal advantages in this situation. in default situations very conscious attention turns towards confusion.

one solution I can implement would be to direct my attention towards anything, like a book, startup or learn more technology. and chances are it can bring some relief and peace.

on the other hand I can work on developing some insight. really put more effort to be more mindful, to identify hindrances while they are happening. meditate a little more. watch my speech and actions a little deeper. write about my day to day experience a bit more. see the problem from the close angle.

I can see from the time I woke up today. I was feeling lost ( doubt ). and a little bitter ( aversion ), I was making some effort every now and than to be mindful. I wasn’t miserable but nor I was peaceful. this is the nature of practice I guess.

an old feeling of I have reached there was back. that presentation thing I used to do. I am doing that again with the content of buddha’s teaching ( with less intensity :).

a feeling of change everything around me and than I would feel better is sort of bubbling.

one task that seems most critical to handle right now is to work on hindrances. but man it is seriously challenging.