EFP #3

I can notice every time a hindrances arises, I have a clear choice whether to entertain it or not. some times while I know it is an hindrance, in all the consciousness I choose to entertain it. some times I don’t.

this reminds me some of the talks I had with my friends, when they say I know what it is, but I still I want to entertain it. but in reality they don’t. it’s a delusional trap that mind lays out. it’s clear ignorance.

there is an element of commitment. which roots from right understanding. once I start to loose right understanding. commitment starts to fade. in that short span of hindrance dominating time, it is quite easy for afflictive hindrance to win because self can not counter argue. and that moment of weakness, I helplessly add a little push to wheel of suffering.

it seems like the quality of life is poorer to the degree these hindrances are dominating. a lot of unnecessary suffering and waste of time.

there is a also a cheap egoistic pleasure in hypocrisy. pretending that you are moral while actions are telling otherwise. and than there is raw sluggish unappreciated minute to minute struggle that leads to a wonderful character. it is quite easy to see which one minds like to pick.

but right understanding can help tremendously, to fight more effectively with these demons. and can potentially lead to right realizations. it is essential to care more, until it gets some momentum by reiterating the ideas. the nature, until the seeds grow enough.