EFP #4

this week I could clearly see I am struggling in almost every aspect of the eight fold path, yet I can clearly sense these things can be overcome.

skillful understanding - as week progressed the right understanding starts to fade away. and with it the commitment and will to oppose the negative energy start to deplete, it needs constant nourishment at-least in the beginning, it is a clear harpy for this week.

skillful intention - intentions were coming from the place of pride, fear and ignorance. 4 immeasurable haha. more often than not greed and hatred made complete sense

skillful speech - speech happens with high frequency, I couldn’t be mindful enough to even observe it most of the time. sometime I reflected after it. it was atleast not intentionally malicious or lie. but every now and than the intention was pride. I were also in the position where others were speaking unskillfully and under pear pressure and hinderances I couldn’t do much but laugh.

skillful action - organically I followed precepts as much as I could. infect I restrain myself from stealing even anything digital.

skillful livelihood - it was good but I could have a bit more honesty.

skillful effort - the thing that kills me most is at several occasion I could have reacted skillfully, but I choose ( very mindfully ) to react unskillfully. I don’t really seems to have enough commitment and understanding to see it’s nature of reality.

skillful mindfulness - to be honest I made good effort when not under afflictions.

skillful concentration - dullness was serious issue here. I could not help but give up, when lethargy crossed it’s threshold.