exit

as I am getting better in finances, doing job is not making sense to me. it require too much time and energy. and very less time left to do anything. it feels like a wake up in the morning and before I know I go back to sleep. it starts to feel like a prison.

just the engagement without meaning is not good enough. there are times when I can immerse in work. and time passes by quickly. but it doesn’t satisfy.

value system of people I hang out with is not inline with mine. more often I see people next to me are just watching facebook and news and whatnot. this is there strategy of getting though. nobody question life. this is how it is. the pleasure of life is to get drunk and gossip.

just plain being myself is quite hard. the constant judgement and expectation to fit in, takes a lot a attention. constantly invoking comparison.

from the work point of view, it is a great place. lead is amazing, it feels like he constantly ramping the slide for everyone or at least me. other people are also good in what they do. but I don’t really care about technical improvement. it is not the problem I would like to solve now.

it feels like i hit the plateau here. finances are getting better. and I can move forward to next phase of life in couple of months.

1st September and I will hit the road again.