exploring

the most important thing for me is exploring myself. like really have a deep deep understanding of who I am. and what matters to me. and this is one of those things which might take a practice of lifetime.

and why I wanna do this ?
the more I do this more life become a enjoyable game for me. it is like a foundational concept. once I really understand what matters and what doesn’t to me. i can grow, tweak, build and play with all the qualities I have and have fun with my life.

but is it even possible ? and how can it be done ?
it has been done before by a lot of people so possibility is not in the question. the question is how can I do this and how would it feel on day to day basis. how would I know if I am taking refuge in it ? plain traveling or sitting down and thinking are certainly not the answer

one possible way could be try different things, what it can teach me is my creative orientation ( if there is a such thing ) and fears. and experiences are so powerful that they can actually answer the questions itself.

but this doesn’t seems like a great idea to do it full time without worrying about money.

on the other hand I can build software engineering as a good footbase and build on top of that.