getting cranky

from last few days, I have been behaving unskillfully. few days back I was talking to one of my old friend. and the answer were coming reactively. sort of, no of course not that, but this beautiful one. no empathy, compassion or anything. seeing people as pleasant and unpleasant object.

than yesterday I felt strong hatred towards one of my colleague, he was behaving as usual but I start to get angry quite quickly and start reacting on it.

same thing is happening to home. people are behaving as usual but I am loosing my temper, may be curing peoples problem because I am so smart.

I am not finding any good reason to wake up early. exercising irregularly. doing minimum viable meditation.

in office killing my time by listing podcast of dharma teachers. mindfulness haha. this dharma thing, I am overdoing it, starching it. and not doing it right.

I am also judging myself and other a lot. is it because of wedding feast !

I don’t know what to search, and than I start typing things like retreat center in india. again wandering in the dessert.

tomorrow I am traveling to india.