Heart-Break

so in the evening we went to millet, and then polar bear. I helped her to pack bags, and had dinner of mangos, I liked how comfortable she is around me, the ease, the acceptance and the laugh.

Something unexpected happened yesterday. As I was saying goodbye to Lin. There was very strong sincerity in the kiss. and I told her this is the last time, I don’t want her to hold on, and I will not reply to her message. and when she is here I will be gone. And she cried as I hugged her tight, and kissed hard.

she packed me apple and mangos and handed me 5 page long love letter.

It was serious, as I finally left that door, after somewhat heart wrenching kiss, I felt strong unease at my heart. it makes me angry, sad. I started to cry in a way. it was sad but in a way beautiful, I have never felt that level of acceptance.

when I come home, I became bitter with the call of parents. It hurts me, the sensation is literally ripping of the heart. I try to observe it. but this was a bit intense, like the last day in dubai.

I can’t imagine what she must be going through. wow, among all the lesson this was the most unexpected and pure.

But the truth is I need to explore more. I have to. and I can’t hold her on the hook. she is giving her heart out in all its purity.

This was an intense experience, beautiful, growing. but its ended here. if you cut it off here, all the emotions will be gone within a week, like flowing river. for her as well. you know the impact of continuing it.

use this experience to calibrate. and then keep moving forward.