Learning from dating #01

The suggestion for next date -

1. The place - A quite and secluded place like pure soul would be great. If you are walking choose less noisy place. Cap it with one hour. Going to a yoga class and than moving to have a dinner is again great.

2. Own yourself - No lying to make your self look better. Own yourself, you are one of the best human being in the world. strictly speaking in terms of distance, just see what you have done so far. How could you place yourself below any kind of person when you have worked your way to collage, master the art of programming, lived on dubai, get paid 3.5lac/per month. Self exploration at the level of insane depth. Traveld for 2 years. Read 100s of books, filled your holes like social. How could you put your self below to a rich person who has not traveled the life even the 10% yet. Be a bit proud of yourself not in egositc way but you are one hack of a man.

3. Discomfort is better than unnecessary stuff - if nothing is coming in your head, or conversation is not building, dont try too much. Let their be silence, silence and anticipation is far better than qualifying yourself. If it is totally uncomfortable or there is no resonance. cut it short. Try to build conversation but not too hard.

dont poke too much, and dont take the shit, humbly leave.

The good parts.

1. You actually did it - instead living in your head. You initiated a conversation and she signalled and you set up a date with fix time and fix place. Show up and spent around 3 hours together.

2. You had a plan - you were well prepared in terms of why are you doing it, how it supposed it be going. Maybe even slightly extra preapred. But it was incredible that only you setup a date but in a sense you also setup the theme.

3. Making calls - you made several call on where to go. [ lets go to cafe.]

4. The presence of elements - you played it, hugged a little, teased a little, laugh a little, shared a little. Even had the opportunity to close.

5. Spending 3 hours in intruption oriented env with a stranger - imagine doing 1 hour in quite setting now.

6. The crack in conditioning - assertiveness and the nice guy got a little shift there. A learning happened.

7. Looking into her eyes - eye contact and smiling were phenomenal.

8. Do you cook -* the crack of authenticity was great.

The improvements -

1. Being fake - I was saying things just to keep the conversation going and no real intention of doing. [ maybe I will come to denmark ]. I also told her several things that I am not good at. [ doing tortoise ]. Or build my image around fake things.

2. Trying too much to communicate - I was trying so hard to please her. To make sure she feels comfartable. Initiating conversation all too often. So she doesnt have to be silent.

3. Asking permission - At some point I told her lets do it. At other do you want to do it. I was kind of a guide than a leader.

4. Too much time and frequency - yesterday only we had huge conversation for over 2 hours. That was supposed to be your first date. 3 hours in intruption oriented settings is not a great place.

5. Loudness and interruption - the setting itself was angaist any meaningful conversation, threads are all too often being broke. The loudness was irritating her. So does my questions I guess.

6. Too much poking - I clearly poked too much, notch it down a little.

7. Taking shit -. At one point she put her foot down, I want it that way. Of course the small things leads to that point.