Learning of the day #36. Indulge in sense objects or leave them.

Yesterday I watched some porn video related to fetish, a part of me wants to see if I can learn something to implement in real life, and have experntial knowledge of it. Another child mind was feeling excited to see it.

The nature of mind is clear. If I watch a porn with the desire of obtaining pleasure it is going to feel a strange kind of pleasure and increase the desire to repeat it. And rotation of it will increase the repeadity the desire to come. This is bondage. On one had is this intense short term pull and pleasure at the cost of chains of addiction.

The second thing to realize these desires I need to force Lin, which creates disturbance, I am practically asking or forcing her to do something she is not comfortable with for me. This can breed dissatisfaction and disrespect as well.

Another level it is affecting the self-esteem by silent self judgement and then talking to girls as well.

A part of me really know even engaging in these thoughts are completely wrong and should be avoided.

Then a justification that I can transcend them by experiencing them.

A good suggestion is to avoid them until you know exactly how to transcend these desires. And If you come to conclusion that by understanding you can do it then by all means do it.