making tomorrow a little better than today.

life represent a different flavor each day. some time I am in the mood of conquering the word. some time quite kind. sometime low self esteem. sometimes very agitated. sometime lonely. sometime gratitude. and I expect myself to carry with similarly high standard all the time. it is when I am very agitated I do future planning. it is when I calm I do meditation.

knowing the flavor of the day, and choosing the right action that could push me in the correct direction a little further is all I need to do. not making huge planes and stuff. make huge plans when you are calm and composed.

for example at the moment I have not worked out from last 3 weeks. not waking up in the morning, eating really bad food. and thinking I should learn technical stuff, plan this and that. useless. the focus should be on how can I get into my sanity zone first. forget everything else. how can I make tomorrow a little better than today.

the big mistake that very intuitively I make is comparing the progress on gross level. that day I was able to do that, so I should be able to do that always. there is subtle angle. the mind. mind is not the same as that day. can I integrate this contemplation of what can I do to make tomorrow better and more enjoyable. not necessarily more struggling and right. but more deliberate.

because I can not live like this. I am reading my post from last few months. and it is all struggling, crawling, getting through day somehow. it’s not how I would like to live. I don’t have a lot of time here to live and I would like to drive my life not go through autopilot.

If I am calm enough generally I can diagnose and think of a wise action or solution. this has to be there before I sleep every night. how could I make tomorrow a little better.