Negotiation #6. Bend the reality.
Negotiation is never linear formula, we all have irrational blind spot, hidden needs and undeveloped notions. Once you understand their world of unspoken needs and thoughts you will discover a universe of variable that can be leveraged to change your counterparts needs and expectations.
Don’t compromise, win-win pushed by many negotiation experts is usually ineffective and often disastours at best it satisfy neither side. Compromise is often a bad deal, and no deal is better than bad deal. Next time you want to compromise remind yourself the mismatched shoes.
There is no validity in 150k deal. With any compromise the nephew will end up in bizarrely bad deal. We don’t compromise because it is bad we compromise because it is easy and it saves faces. Most people are driven by fear or by desires to avoid pain, very few by their actual goals. Never split the bill, the creative solutions are always preceds by some degree of risk, annoyance, confusion, and conflict.
Deadline, the simple passing of the time and it’s cousin deadline are the screw that pressures every deal to conclusion. It can trick you that doing deal now is important than getting a good deal. We all have natural tendency to rush when deadline approaches. What is about the deadline that causes pressures and anxiety, the answer is consequences. The perception of the loss will incure in the future. When you allow the variable of time to trigger such thinking you have taken yourself hostage creating an env. Of reactive behavior. And now your counterpart let an imaginary deadline and your reaction to do all the work for him. Deadlines are often arbitrary, almost always flexible and hardly ever trigger consequences we think. Deadline is negotiation boogeyman.
Once we understood the pattern and know the kidnappers self imposed deadline we have critical info. First we let the pressure build by stalling the negotiation by thrusday or Friday and because you don’t need 150k for good weekend in Haiti. Offering a lot less will suffice.
Give us or your aunt will die is early stage threat without specified time. Increasing specifity indicates getting closer to real consequences. When people issue threat consciously or unconsciously issue loopholes they fully intend to exploit. Salesman people work at quarterly basis and most valunerable at the end of the month.
They knew my deadline I didn’t knew theirs. His counterparts wouldn’t win if left without deal. When negotiation is over for one side, it’s over for both side. Hiding your deadline also increases the risk of impass. It also means you are negotiating with yourself and when you do that you always loose. Revealing your cutoffs reduce your risk. Deadline is always never ironclads.
NO SUCH THING AS FAIR, as simple as merely splitting $10 found money there is no consensus of what constitute fair. The reasoning each and every person used was 100% irrational. When you approach a negotiation thinking other guy will think like you that’s not empathy but projection. Anyone made offer other than $1 is an emotional choice.
The most powerful word in negotiation is fair. As human being we are mightily swayed by how much we feel we have been respected. People comply with agreement if they think they have treated fairly and lash out if they don’t
Most accpetor rejected any offer less than half. Once you get the quarter of the money you can forget it and the accepter will feel insulted. Because the negative emotional value of unfairness outweighs the positive rational value of money. William wasn’t pissed of because of the money but the perceive unfairness that pissed him off. Once you understand what a messy , emotional and destructive daynamics fairness can be you can see why it is so powerful.
The three ways people use fairness, most common we just want what’s fair, judo like defensive system. We just want what is fair she said and emotionally rattled by implicit accusation he raised the price. The best response would be to okay I apologize lets stop and go back and see where I started to treat you unfairly. The second way is kind of accusing we gave you a fair offer, its terrible little jab meant to distract your attention. You can label it. Fair? You must have some evidence. Or you can use it constructively I want you to feel like you are being treated fairly all the time so please stop me any time you feel I am being unfair.
BEND THEIR REALITY, if you can get other party to reveal their problems pain and unmet objectives if you can get at what people really buying, a good baby sitter sale is not child care but relaxed evening. $100 can be glourious victory or vicious insult, recongizing this can help you to bend their reality from insult to victory.
How much you will pay for my mug or your mug, mug is same. You feel disgusted by $20 if I make 1mil. Just by how I position $20 I can make you feel happy or disgusted. Although we maybe largely irrational that doesn’t mean there is no consistent patterns principle and rules that governs those. People look for certainty effect. And loss eversion. In a tough negotiation its not enough to show that other party that you can deliver the things they want, you have to also presuade them that they have something concrete to loose.
Anchor their emotions. Start with accusation audit acknowledging all of their fear. By anchoring their emotions in preparation for a loss you inflames the other side loss aversion. I get a lousy proposal for you, by the time I get of the phone.. still I want to bring this opportunity to you before I talk to someone else. Suddenly the call wasn’t about being cut from $2000 to 500 but loosing 500 to other person.
Let the other guy go first most of time. Walder demanded $150/week. And $110 when every one else started at $125k. That’s especially true when you don’t know the market value of what you are offering. If other guy is a pro he is going after extreme anchor to bend your reality. An expensive $400 seems resonable in front of $600. We tend to make adjustment according to first reference point. Although remember your reputation preceded you.
Establish a range. Instead of saying I worth $110k. At x-corp people in the job worth between $130k-$170k. $130 looks cheap. When you offer the range expect them to come to the lower end. Bolstering range.
Pivot to non-momentary term. People usually bargain on series of rigid positions defined by emotional views of fairness and pride. After anchoring high you can make offer more reasonable by offering things that aren’t important to you but could be important to them. Cover photo.
When you think number thing odds. 2(0) inevitably feels like temporary placeholder. Guesstimate that can be easily negotiated. $37,323 seems like figure you came by result of thoughtful calculation.
Surprise by a gift. You can get counterpart in the mood of generosity by stalking an extreme anchor and then after first rejection offering them a wholly unrelated surprise gift. They induce reciprocity.
After some how am I suppose to do that, he said $3000, then $4571 seems like a deep calculation and then add CD stereo.
How TO NEGOTIATE BETTER SALARY, be pleasently persistent in non salary terms, the more you talk about the non salary terms more you will hear their full range of options. An extra week of vacation. And they countered by increasing her salary.
Once you have negotiated salary make sure to define success for your position and matrix for next raise. That’s meaningful for you and free for your boss.
Sell yourself and your success as the way they can validate their own intellegence and broadcast it. What success means here, No one ever asked us that before. If someone gives you guidance they will watch to see if you follow they will have a personal stake in seeing you succeed.
These are tools used by all the negotiators because they understand human phscye as it is.