NTBS #2 Be A Mirror.
The great negotiator aim to use the skill to reveal the surprise they are certain that exist. They are best serve by holding multiple hyposthese. Most of the people just make assumption and stick with it out of faith or arrogance. While great negotiator are able to question the assumptions.
The less important he makes himself most important he probably is [ I/me We/they ] really you need the whole team to hear him out. It is not that easy to listen. We are easily distracted and engage in selective listening. The best way is to make sole and all-encompassing focus what other person has to say. The goal is to identify what your counterpart needs and get them feeling safe enough to talk and talk and talk some more of what they want. The letter will help you discover the former. Listening, validating their emotions, creating enough trust so real conversation can begin.
Slow.It.Down. Going too fast is once of the mistake all negotiators are prone to make. Voice, deep, soft, slow and reesuring. It is not just what we say but how we say as well, one of the easiest thing to enact and most influential. The three key voice available to a negotiator. Late night dj, positive\playful[easygoing|good natured person]. Direct and assertive.
The street vendor will use hospitality and friendliness in a powerful way to draw you in and create reciprocity that will end in the exchange of money. When you are talking in downward form you inflict that you got it covered, when upward way you are saying uncertain.
As the mirroring continue he started to vomit the content. Mirroring is essentially the imitation. Mirroring send the signal to unconscious that you and I are the same. It is almost laughably simple you mirror the last 3 words. By doing this you triggered mirroring instinct and your counterpart will inevitably elobrate on what what was said. To make the mirror work you need a bit of silence and let it sit there and do its work.
Mirror is powerful as it gives you the ability to disagree without being disagreeable.
- use the late night DJ voice.
- start with I am sorry
- mirror
- silence at least 4 seconds
- repeat
The intention is please help me understand. First it is a bit awakward than it becomes Swiss knife.
Prepare, don’t commit to assume, see at as a process of discovery instead of battle of argument. To quiet voice down make sole purpose to listen other. Slow it down, put a smile on the face. Mirror work magic.