observe.

If only one thing I could achieve in next 5 years. and that will make it worth. It would be this. good or bad all the concepts are concepts, a very poor way of knowing the nature of reality, and it is pretty much useless if not harmful.
what is a good concept !! the one that justify your sense of self things you identified yourself with. you see the futility of it. basically all these has to be someone’s observance.

the real deal, the knowing is what you have learnt by observing. like really plain fundamental observing. no concept, no glasses. just the naked reality, just the plain truth of internal and external existence. and than you don’t have to explain this is because I am feeling that. no no no You directly know it.

this is the only thing that matter. this is the only reliable thing, the challenge is when I am disturbed. not feeling great. the last thing I want to do is this. If you could learn this. everything else is secondary. second hand. useless.

you become your own light, your own guru.

but I can not sit whole day, observing myself. meditating and I don’t know what. I would go crazy. I need to do things like I don’t know work !! maybe read. and a lot of other stuff.

one plain way of doing it. is to just observe. but the problem here is it is practically impossible to do it. it is like ok go and fly that plane. meditation is tremendous training here.

next 3 months and can I practice just this one thing. everything should be around it. everything. try to do it with complete awareness. know how other people who have done it. actually did.