p4- being myself in job

I have this strange unease of someone is watching me in my job. so in case when i have particular work to do or I want to watch a video. there is kind of unease.

the other thing I felt in general that I am very defensive in conversation. to the point where sometime I am kind of disconnect with myself ( kind of isolated scope ) while talking to others. I am really amazed to see how well some of my colleague be themselves. and how well without offending others people assert themselves.