Recalibrating spirituality - EGO.

who is getting annoyed after bad haircut, who is getting tired after some work, who feels insecure when asking for tissues, who felt angry when kavita responded badly, who wants to make good impression, who wants to be liberated. who wants to make body healthy.

prachi’s action of me and mine. mom’s getting angry and shouting when soemeone point a fault, ramlakhan trying hard to win acceptance. Me justifying to make sure I am right in my mind. me making sure my impression is right in front of people, who is this me?

who is learning and who has all these desires. who is making other wrong and myself right, who is judging, who feels uncomfortable doing things around other people.

when there is total absorption there is no I. when I was kissing lin there is no I. when I am having deep conversation there is no I, and time seems to collapse.

when I accomplish something or other people appreciate me, the sense of I expand.

there are preferences I have.

I am speaking, i can move my hands. i can speak inside my mind. i am not body but I am using body, who is explaining all these things to secondary character.

there is a sense of continuity of this I. I also wants to be right.

do or don’t but if you stuck in the middle there isn’t enough force.

If I make good impression on others, achieved a lot of goals, I feels good, and it wants to work more. it uses all the inofmation to prove how smart I am. it wants to show I care.

I has this desire to push myself and achieve it. I will go to samatha retreat.

there is the voice and there is the will to go against the grain.

the ego has a strong sense of selfishness. and own comfort.