Relationship.

[ Naive chaser ]
She was looking amazing in those cute glasses and perfect dress and I was going to ask her phone number, I was ready just like table topics. I don’t wanna brag or anything but that day, I even took the bath. But here was this small problem. She used to come with this guy, he might be her boyfriend. But then again when you want something whole universe conspires. And universe did its job. She didn’t come with that punk. She came with her father.

[ Wiseman. Naive chaser]
Ladies and gentleman, toastmasters, when it comes to talking to a girl, most of the guys have no freaking clue what to do. I was not one of them. I was even worse. I wasn’t just clueless, but for some reason I still don’t understand, I was attracting a lot of gay people. Has anybody ever hit by a gay guy. You guys have no idea how does that feel.

[ Naive chaser ]
I will never forget The night before that day, I went for a haircut. I remember his face more clearly than my mothers. He was this Philippino guy, short, fat, and his tight pink shirt was exposing his Lower belly. He took 2 hour to give me that hair cut. He wasn’t just flirting, no sir, he was seducing me. He Was playing with my hair and wishpering in my ears, he wanted to come to home that night. I had no freaking idea how to handle that. those 2 hour and felt like 2 decades. Although you have to give him he had a pretty good seduction skills. 1000 times batter than mine.

[ Naive determination ]
When I came home that day, I needed some answers. So I locked myself in a room and asked my inner voice, What is this love thing? Foundation of all the relationship. And I was getting answer like I love nature, I love my family, I love vada Pav.I realised one thing that day love isn’t a word. It is a fantasy container, everyone has their own idea about it. but what I knew is I really liked that girl in class.

Even in the presence of all the odds and awakwredness I did ask her phone number that day. And she gave it to me. Have you guys ever been to a situation where you find yourself in a hole, and in your eagerness to get out of it you dig even deeper one.

We stayed in that relationship for 3 years. And she was beautiful and charming girl. And she had an amazing memory and powerful imagination. But we were running around the same emotional drama over and over again. And it was engaging but not really satisfying. Then one day it dawn on me. It wasn’t a relationship, we both just wanted something from each other, we both wanted to change other person, we just wanted to take none of us really wanted to share and give. We both were emotionally amature. Dependent. If you observe more emotionally dependent a person is more rapidly he falls in love.

Stephen covey once said interdendpence is the choice only independent people can make. Beautiful insight. Until we become independent emotionally, and can take care of our emotional needs by ourself. There is no possiblity of a real relationship and intimacy, we will just end up playing power games. So what if instead of finding our love or fixing our partners we start with becoming emotionally mature first.