Relationship #pound of unease.

unease in solitude - when I am in solitude, not interacting much, things seems sometime meaningless. And there is exhaustion, then if I am working on something hard and it is not producing results there is pain of that as well. A strong thought of relationship and social release arises. Or in general I feel a bit more unstable.

Actually there are many streams that create this pound of unease. Not healthy food or general routine, struggling for the workspace. Knowing sell outs and self judgment. No clear direction.

This pound of unease creates certain kind of thoughts based on the fantasies, fear and memories of mind.

The thoughts could be of revising a good memories, fantasizing about sex, worrying about marraige. Compare and compiting with other people. Before it used to be about tease of virginity and taste of relationship.

What if I could reach to the point where I desire nothing more than a solitude, love more than deep transcidental love of self.