Relationship. Lin.

I feel like I am always hugging her, when I am not she is doing something to grab my attention to give her hug. there is a strange kind of comfort in that, being close to someone like that.

There is intimacy and fantasy, which is growing on me, initially I didn’t want to much, but now I am always all over her. Although we act once a week. My desire is increasing and her quiet invitations and accelerations are only helping to grow it.

There is growing comfort. Before it was quiet less and now it is keep growing. And makes everything more easy. On the other hand it can also make it easy to demolish others boundaries.

The deadlock subjects, there is one clear gridlock, that she wants me to be exclusive and not see other women, maybe even marry her. I just don’t know, I don’t know my stance. Wether I wanna grow by engaging in other options or I wanna keep away from all the relationship anyway, or I wanna explore it as something very serious. We have been together in a way for more than 6 months.

Then there are certain parts about her, she is chiness, has serious health issues, has somewhat dysfunctional family, breath fast, things can be drastucally different after serious relationship. She is shy and avoid social contacts. She is having very hard time to say no. And then there are always certain aspect of what is happening inside mind that you never know.

There are certain complementary skills, she loves to cook and I love to be disciplined. There is no denying she does a lot for me, cook food, wash clothes, tidy the room. Giving me company.

There are a little conflicts, I don’t want to spend 1000rs on a dinner. She is more carefree. The same way she had expectation that I will understand her and felt wounded when I forced her. The good part is we talked about it.

Growing attachment, there is a little bit jealousy, I am sure the same will the case with her too. Then when the separation happens it will be quiet heart werenching. If I enjoy it the sense of bhoga, I will have thoughts bumping and if I learnt I can be free.