The relationship with controlling people.
I left my job. And mom start to react and shout, accusing me for I am not operating the way she wants me to be. Another one was expactation when she is telling me why don’t you take care of me. Another one is when she is using force and seduction to convence me to get married. Sometime in childhood the superior force from her authority to bend me according to her wish for not going to take the result if I didn’t took the bath. Getting angery why I didn’t come home.
There are times when she is very generous. Respecting me so much I can’t take. There are times I can take CD player and she won’t mind. She always cook food for us, wash all our clothes, even stinky underwear too. if I get emotional start compromising and taking the place of service. When she assumed I am working, she becomes extremely serving.
Ofcourse it is the mood of the moment that dictates. When she is afraid, she try to control the situations.
Akshada wants me to certain way, I am asking her to be certain way.
Akhil trying hard to show me his major achievement to impress me. Forcing astrology. His dream to wake up till morning car and my dream to trek.
Bhai’s innocent challange :tu kar ke dekh le: Anurag’s help to learn or whatever way’s to give other so later call on that. Ahyam trying hard to impress and control. Yeswant controlling group. Ritika’s why don’t you do that logic. Prashant I am always right attitude. Nehas do this do that.
When the personal importance is high people’s natural way become disrespecting. When they are under threat they also become controlling.
If a person’s personal importance is high. Maybe he is winning or thinking others as poor. He becomes disrespectful.
When Akhil had a girlfriend, I became extremely jealous. Me disrespectfully talking to bhai and pratap and papa. Me having high self esteem when people laugh on my joke in itm. Me having poor self esteem when they laughed on me while I was dancing. Me feeling helpless when Krishnan start to scold me and then insane self beating. Laughing at me.
All the while there was nothing personal, when I was controlling I wasn’t even considering other person. I was sad that my dream and selfish desires are not met.
In a controlling realtionship, two peoples are playing against each other to see who can seize the frame of control.
A dependent person try to control the the mutual dream as well as well other person’s personal dream.
She has an image of other person. And she use force to fit other person into that Image. If i fit she is proud of me. If i don’t she gets angery and upset.