satisfied !!

am I feeling happy ! aroused ! excited ! and all those positive emotions - no ! although I am feeling hope :) . ya but at certain level I am feeling quite satisfied with my self. in a general sense I think I am getting this framework of life. and at certain level I think I am accepting it with a smile. it might very well be a denial or trick of my mind. but I think I start to get some sense of this game of life. not in terms of concrete destination. but more of a fluid sense of path. how this path look and feels like. and it seems to me how tasteless life will become without this adventures uncertainty, You can’t peak the book of life. you have to experience it page by page.

the more I am going through same kind of phases. the transition doesn’t really deceitfully scares me. instead of tightly holding the spoon and concentrating there I get to be relaxed and enjoy the view.

it is just the way of reality, holding conditioned belief against it seems sheer stupidity. a different kind of growth is taking place, walking away from the dear beliefs. expectations from the attempt is melting down slowly. moving towards a place where attempt doesn’t really dictated by the results. like the rumi describe the helpless love.