3. skillful speech

the 3rd fold of buddhas 8 fold path and something I struggle with a lot. one can understand the importance of skillful speech if buddha gave it a step in itself. it is clear that speech creates an environment which either contributes to happiness or destroy it. imagine never having to regret for anything you say. four quality of skillful speech

speak the truth
it is important to understand we are talking about, not lying for our advantage, someone’s advantage or for any advantage whatsoever. even some time silence could be an answer. but what if the truth harm someone. in those cases wait for the right time to speak right words. buddha himself resolve to silence if his answer can harm someone.

if you know something is untrue, incorrect or non-beneficial do not speak. if the words are true and correct know the time to speak, when words are true, correct, beneficial and timely, speak whether they are welcomed and agreeable to others are not.

avoid malicious talk
when we speech malicious words our tongue release verbal dagger. even when what we say is true, if it’s intent is to cause other peoples harm, it is malicious. to really know intent behind your speech, ask yourself what you are hoping to gain ?

the one form of common malicious talk is trying to look incisive, smart or hip on the expense of another’s. another one could be backhand compliment like so nice to repair your old mobile than buying new iphone.

speak softly
harsh language, verbal abuse, profanity, sarcasm, hypocrisy, blunt and belittling criticism is all are example of harsh language. we are fool if we think harsh language ever accomplish anything. a smart adversary will gently withdraw and respond to harsh words with icy silence. even animal can feel harsh language.

telling someone i really appreciate the work you did. you handled that difficult situation beautifully or it is such a joy to see you warm speaker and recipient heart. but word of caution, soft word must also be sincere and motivated by noble purpose. otherwise it is just another form of hypocrisy.

avoid useless chatter
careless, useless or meaningless chat. or we might refer it as a gossip. it would be really interesting to check the content of gossip. and I am sure it is not the wisdom and compassion. it’s more of judgement, jealous, insecurity and story, rumor about other people.

when we hear someone gossiping and say something damaging we have two options either we end the conversation or discourage person from speaking negatively. and than in best case scenario gossip is a waste of time, doesn’t really deepen any wisdom,

but than again word speak out of love and compassion is part of skillful speech. even if it is useless like talking to child.

so before you speak if you are mindful enough ask yourself is it true ? is it kind ? is it beneficial ? would it harm someone ? is this the right time to say it ?

checkout your mind before you speak, you will come to regret any speech made out of the motivation of greed, hatred or delusion. and it is impossible to abuse someone while you are mindful. the only antidote for wrong speech is a strong dose of mindfulness