snapshot of yesterday.

The way I am living these days are not right. here is the snapshot of yesterday, I heard the ring in the morning 6. but I snoozed till 8:30. I didn’t felt any drive or energy to push myself for anything. I did my minimum viable meditation and left for office. today I was feeling a bit excited because yesterday night iftar was fairly good. I shopped and all. so i will end this story today. but my system env. is giving me hard time, so I told it in the morning and one of colleague helped me to overcome it. it was not really a hard issue I might have figured out if I was interested, now I am in bad mood. suddenly thoughts of quitting geared up. than I saw our newsletter and it even went bit more down. as hurdled were removed I started to enjoy work a bit more. and stayed a bit longer.

so office ended, and I came to moe for food. I got a cola and opened my computer and I am feeling a bit depressed. I thought may be I should write my spiritual sunday post and didn’t felt like doing it. so I decided to go to home knowing very well it will get worse there. and than I started to watch some cartoon, facebook and whatnot. i wanted this time to pass faster. I didn’t enjoy it. but I just wanted to get over with it. and than procrastinate meditation and did 14-15 mins of it and slept. multiple time I thought of cleaning house and than I just let it be. I also hoped that this thing will hit the bottom and than bounce back.

this is not the right way of living in anysense. a delusional life is better than this.