snowball.

there is no point in writing a new life description and guiding principles and all. but there is basic law of nature. compounding. the snow you are rolling will soon become snowball. wether you want or not. and I need to start rolling the ball. and I need to start doing this today. the affliction oriented default is only taking me to the downword direction. there are certain snowball that has grown out of proportion

there is this war between being in tamas and rajas phase periodically. and often I take refuge in being in tamas and will do things when I will reach rajas. then I force myself for a while and than come back again. this is clearly not right strategy.

choose your snowball carefully and start rolling them. there isn’t going to be a time where you will be ready. or reach that state. it has to be done in slow patience mode. and gradually rolling it everyday. and stop rolling the wrong one. they will melt away with time. this is only thing you can do. and this is the starting point. don’t sprint put all your energy into slowly start moving these balls.

so if I am in tamas state work with this tamas state. do a little better with whatever you have. roll the ball a little further.

the point is you need to build a solid base. it can not be very fluctuating with ups and down like this. the default has to evolve.

start working with what you have.