Spiritual recalibration - desires.

Desire has a force, a pull and it moves me in a direction. Wether it is coming as attraction towards that girl in front of me. Desire to harsh reply, or going to Lin house.

There are sense desires, pizza, view from illirtate, music, touch of the train, smell of lin. The food and view seems to be prominent sometime.

There is sexual desire, when I wake up and imagin some fantasy. There is desire of domination and submission.

There is a desire of acceptance and impressing other people. Making a good impression on others.

The paradox is when desire something, I become more conscious and less capable and when I don’t it is far more easier. Meeting J with an expectation to impress her, vs just meeting her. This expectation arises when I am feeling less self confident.

There is desire of not being taken advantage, and then there is a desire to help other people.