spiritual sunday #48

I started this week with a bit of sickness, went to doctors. and recovered around wednesday. I got my book kriya yoga seceret revealed. and start reading it. I am still unsure like hell what I am doing. I read 33 startgies of war. spent couple of days at unboxed. and than come to home in morena. some time I also read snowball and searching around raja yoga. meeting some people at unboxed was interesting.

spiritual sanity - I was defientely below the level of spiritual sanity. also sickness, goa’s shadow is contributing into it. meditation is getting low.

health - I am somewhat aware of the way I am eating food, but not really doing it. eating amount and content is out of my control. no exercise. hoping when i will be eating I will make sure would do it right is stupid idea.

social - I have read enough. I was more aware in conversation what is happening, I also tried to come up with some framework and spiraling in. but than I am starting to loose my personal hygine.

it feels like this week and life in general is managed very poorly these days. I am not really sure what I am doing, my heart is not that in to the game. momentum is very low. I don’t know what I suppose to do today and uncertainty is getting the best out of me. more often I am thinking this is wrong, that is wrong. this isn’t right. there isn’t the thing I that will solve the problem down the road. it’s like my energies are just running wild and I am hardly able to contain myself from not damaging myself more spiritualy.