Spirituality

What am I striving for?
There is awareness of deeper and deeper aspects of mind. In the beginning, it was characters like an amateur problem solver, now it is about beliefs and judgment and voice and sensations. personality. I can see them but they affect me. With each iteration of vipassana I get a little deeper. can see something about the mind which I was not able to see before. That experiential understanding is wisdom. My vision is expanding in terms of my inner state. After some times I will leave the mind or will be in complete control.

There is another understanding which is clear as rock that mind will continue like this, there is something in the mind right now and there will be something else in the mind after sometimes and that voice and sensation will continue regardless of outward conditions. Finding the peramanent solution for that is my pursuit. Training and transcending are the cure for it.

Then there are conditioned response and discomfort of change and growth. distorted view and engagement with life, This requires some kind of clarity and direction founded on truth. some daily routine and clear direction, otherwise the voice will start to talk about petty concerns. The way cause and effect works, it is so easy to slip, and the effect comes later. Wordly life can easliy overwhelm, A routine can loose it’s effect because of the way mind start to go on autopilot. Some way of living life that can take care of it.

There are certain laws, repetitions, cause and effect, impermanence, belief and judgment, Emotion and actions, Being uncomfartable infront of something you want, which are immutable in the realm of the mind.

Then there is something beyond the mind and said to be the permanent refuge. where mind should be fully consumed. Not that I want that bliss but I don’t know anything beyond the mind. From that point onward concepts are useless. And declare by wise people the permanent solution.

How important it is?
The voice can be satisfied sometimes. But there will be no permanent peace, any hope or expectation of the peace is a mirage. I can create a life which can be pleasant and heavenly, but eventaully body will decline, death will come, people will pass away, Things you build will be distroyed, how will the voice reply.

I don’t know how will I train the mind, or transcend it. But taking it lightly is a fools game. It has to be the atmost priority, first training and purifying the mind and then applying it in the choosen direction. and kind of go beyond the mind and transcend it.