Find your people.

More often than not I witness this scenarios. A group of people gather together to have a good time, they talk about all kind of superficial topics and there are always few people in that group, painfully trying to participate in the conversation or just sitting silently and periodically getting this look from other people “ what’s wrong with you”. I was one of those guy.

I never had this need to talk so much and I always find superficial talks meaningless or duplicite. I didn’t really understood how can someone enjoy this so much. On the other hand I totally lit up when I have conversation where subjects are personal and authentic but it seems to me the larger the group are more superficial talks becomes.

Lately I am finding there are two broeder category of people. people who are figuring out life, questioning, engaging, experimenting. They are usually confused and uncertain about what they are doing, but they are in voyage, a sense of purpose can be seen in their action. I find these people alive and enjoy talking with them.

The other category of people doesn’t have this drive, consequently they seems to have strong time structuring hunger, their default state and main problem is boredom. They seems to use talking as a way to solve this boredom. one of the most toxic subcategory of these people has a strong need of recognition hunger (ego) and validation of their belief. they have invented a lot of pastime and games to keep themself engaged. Hanging out with them in short term seems a lot of fun but as time stretches it becomes tedious and painful.

Having good social skills is a clear prerequisite to a good life