technical aspiration.
do you remember how does this all started ? it was a fucking magic when I use this things called computer in 10th standard. it had an amazing pull. remember Hercules and photo impact. anything I could learn about it, I would. but I never imagine I can also be a programmer. nobody told me and showed me. but something else has been injected in my mind, programming is hard stuff. and than I went to collage still fucking pulled to computers, photoshop animation and stuff like that, can you remember your dream of doing animation course from arena, ohh that would be soo cool. and than comes the era of freelancing. could I be more happy with a job ( at least initially ) ? making sense of how would I move forward. started to learn php so I could do wordpress stuff. and those lucky bastards who get to work on actionscript and earn like 30$ an hour. that was even beyond my imagination. so i started to learn php. and I sucked i just didn’t get it. it was quite complicated. it was heartbreaking to see someone is doing something that I don’t know why and how. the feeling was not good ( indeed it was anxiety ). isn’t that plague is everywhere may be I am not cut out for this.
and than I moved to hyderabad, really learn it. dhrusya, ahinjay ameerpeth java and c classes. I was in wonderland. I start to get the feel may be I can do this. I came back home spent couple of months and built my portfolio. and wrote that pyramid program and I knew I have nailed it. getting inspired by seeing peoples profile, oh fuck she even know jquery and look at his blooyrage guy. isn’t that was something. loved it. and than moved to synechron. overconfident and sure I can do anything after-all it is loop and conditions ya. and this is where I learnt javascript. there is this belief that I could learn something by just reading has caused me a lot of trouble. but I read a lot of books. do you remember max projects and alhilal project. wasn’t that something, and that localmatters ohh that was beast. but to be honest I wasn’t a programmer programmer until i went through equal experts and than i really struggled. and finally I start to get this confidence, may be I can do it. and than the BAL time and js.pattern, metalist and explain.angular. and now in namshi stretching the breadth of it.
can’t you see why you do this.
when I look back I can see I have come so far. there is this pull of being good at this. but it is more than that it is not just some game. it is a powerful and rewarding channel. it is something that can potentially change peoples life. this is not just a channel where you can entertain people but fully express yourself. be it an art, a compassionate act. or anything you can imagine can be built.
this is not just a playground and I am not novice wonderer anymore. slowly but surely it is becoming a canvas to be expressed upon. and there is too much art in my heart to be expressed.