The character inside my head.
A suggestionless perfectionist – Like a mighty emotionless god, it rules its judgement “it will not work.” It doesn’t require fact or figures, it doesn’t offer any help. It is meant to be believed, no questions. If followed it might take me to the point of starving.
*A heofying situtaion inventor * - This one creates situation in future where I look good, sitting with Jonathan and telling him outsmartly how theory of Gunas from India counter his argument. the situation that are unlikely to ever happen, but just incase it tries to go through the whole thing, and make me look smart. A utter waste of time, at the least.
An Anxious problem solver – This one wants to help and it has a strategy, it’s called freaking out. It is just start to run around. Do this, do that. If followed it leads much worse situation than beginning. In its core it is afraid, and the way it sometime misinterpretate simple issues as a matter of life and death is nothing less than magnificent.
A Desperate memory fixer - This one lives in the past. It is doing a job that nobody is asking and doing it with a delgience of remark. It takes a memory and try to reform in a way I would look good in it. What good it actually does ? It is his sincer but futile attempt to make me feel good.
*A Narsistic Body Decorator * - It wants to decorate the body in a sense of it is giving me satisfaction. In the sense of infusion. The problem is in the flip side. The way it feels when I am not looking the best, when I am getting old, and my face is not particularly smooth. And than when part of by body will start to give up. Rotten, dead. And me valuing myself less because of it.
*Approval hungry child * - This one believes the people liking is the path that leads to happiness. Suggesting me to do slight things like trying to look good while entering a friend house. Waiting slightly to let the other person see. Delibratly tryin. Wanting other people to like my post. Usually end up getting other way around. People not giving fuck, just like me for others work, or maybe even openly hating. It is just dilluded.
*A future worrier - * this one is worried about things that might might happen interestingly no suggestion just worry what will I do If that happens or one of the past situation repeat. God how would I solve that, most of the time even that thing it is worried about is trivial at best.
A Jealous Comptitor - This one complete with remit Sethi and James dean. It can’t seems to accept that other people can be good at the stuff they put their attention. It wants me to be number one. The centre. It mainly feels jealous about the stuff other have that I don’t posses. Some form of gross Image. The fame and the sex. It doesn’t have solution or strategy. Just tells me to worry.
A smart ass advisor - Oh this one. Advicing every one else how they should live the life. This will trip you there, that will there. It thinks that These kind of advice giving, aka power and admiration is making me happy. At best time structuring.
While I am wasting my time engaging in all these futile attempts of these pleasure oriented ways to attain any sort of happiness. They are deeply useless. How could possibly these things make me happy ? They are time fillers. I don’t want time fillers.