The comapnion date#2 with J retroaspect.

Yesterday I met j at jumbo than ant and than a pizza. From 5 to around 8:30.

The jumba was kind of fun but it totally drain both of us. And that lead to uncomfortable settings. The conversations became kind of forced. The natural tendency of body was more of relaxing.

In the jumba class I initially felt a bit of anxiety. And that lead me to talk to other people. It was of imparmanent nature. Maybe the energies of the place and other people was such. It does relase the tension and than there is nothing went wrong. Stop assuming what other will think.

In the jumba I have kind of fun. There was a desire to impress other, which with time was relasing. And I started to have more fun than that desire.

J was incridibly supportive in the dance of companion relation. Far more than me she was putting effort to make it smooth experience. She understood this is a relationship building phase.

There was sharing of last week, disappointment of news cafe closing. And than moving to ants. Sharing what we did last week, exausted. My mind was not very active and mouth was dry, natural tendency was to relax. And than a part of me was actually using it as excuse. There was mutual understanding for this though.

J is incredibly good in giving positive feedback to everyone. From jumba instructor to me, she keep saying to everyone I like it.

In the walk back she started to share about her suffering. And chaos inside her head. And she is very comfortable with sharing this with me. I also reciprocate to or tried to reciprocate with sharing my experiences.

In pizza shop we have an hour long conversation. All this does contribute towards more comfortable relationship. She and me were playing more personally. A lot more laugh and sharing was there. It was moving toward more like a friend zone as compare to stranger trying to build relation. It was more easy.

In order to keep the conversation. In that pressure, I was sharing things like talking other interview and travel to world, which is not untrue but not really my main concern at the moment either.

In the end she gave me a good hug, a thanks and innocent friendly pleeding to stay more which touched me.

In a way I had a good time, the relationship strengthen, but I felt kind of drained to, physically atleast.

It was great exploration. Continue it. There are things I learnt. Things I calibrated. That is the nature of exploration. You can’t plan these things. You have to go with open mind and heart, to see what you will find.

Word of affirmation [ because she is keep telling other people ], quality time [ because she seems to enjoy it ], act of service [ because she seems to do it for others ] , physical touch [ because she has done few times ], gift. Seems to me her love language.