The corrective feedbacks.

Doing favours - The ccdtress and dep. these people are attracted to me and they are showing their affection by doing some favours. Indirectly. This gives me feeling of indebtness. The key point here is the indirectness. And how could you say no to in a way generosity of someone else. Saying no to someones indirect advances. Becauase in a way they expect reciprocation, there is an expactation built into this generosity.

One thing I can force them to take responsibility and deny. “Why are you doing it ?” Another I can tell them a deso. “You are adding extra point in my ccd app, making me uncomfartable, just give me what is natural I am happy with that” I can also take the responsiblity and deny without them needing to say it. “I know you are doing it because you like me, but I am more of a customer here.” Just avoiding a behaviour you don’t like is not good for other people and you. Ultimately you have to convey you don’t like this behaviour.

Leading prematurely - An incident happened. Yeswant, a seemingly simple person, [ not some one very egoistic ]. In a group descusion started to lead with kind of a background undersatanding of well they know nothing. A kind of forced lead. And quickly created very closed, idiallistic and unsafe enviornment. Made everybody follow his will by force. He wasn’t even listening to other people. The interesting part is, he didn’t know what he was doing, a properly articulated feedback could have helped him and others, and chances are he would have taken it.

Here a deso would have worked. “Although it was a good approach but this question made me feel like a kind of forced to answer, in a idylistic way, instead of sharing. And I also feel like me liking Kungfu panda has very little to do with my purpose of life. And the answer we came with seems more ideyllicst more right but not necessarily real. I would have really liked if everyone could share what they felt like sharing even if we don’t come up with a concrete answer.”

Direct negative feedback - yeseterday I saw Rita told me you are so self obsessed for nothing. A negative feedback for no behaviour, and I am aware there is nothing personal. She was trying to build communication But nonethe less I didn’t like it.

She in a way is very amature, needy and energy vampire with no intention to grow. There is no common spark and value. I am only having conversation with her because she is another human being. And I initiated the relationship in the first place. Her comments are the byproduct of having a relationship of any kind. The context of this relationship is non stranger. A non stranger relationship is non-personal. Personal jokes, critisim and affection is not the part of such relationship, formal, respectful, light play is its boundary. When there is no common spark it is only hurtful to go further. Keep it in its boundaries.

On such negative feedback. You do not need to defend, rationalise, counter-attack, you can either ask to justify to take them responsility, or you can explain your point of view and move on without trying to convince. You can also give non verbal negative feedback, show for the preference of behaviour and irect boundary incase of non-response.