The date with Lin retroaspect.

The context was clear romantic relationship.

After familiarity, there are two elements in romantic relationship. First is resonance. In a conversation, it becomes clear pretty soon wether there is one or not. It is just natural rapport.

With Lin although there was some deep common interest yoga, meditations, and traveling, there was no real give and take. It was forced in prematurely ended. I wasn’t feeling really interested.

The another aspect was maybe because she was not listening intently or with interest. I was not feeling comfortable to share more. There were some silent pauses. And this leads to me talking strange things like i have a different image of Chinese.

There were sexual hooks naughty boy, My roommate is beautiful. And I registered and took advantage of it. But without real rapport. It is kind of unsmooth.

She was sharing stories about her being cheated and all. Which is something I could also do. I also escalated every now and then, tried to introduce the topic of relationship. But without rapport it wasn’t coming out very authentic.

There was an awakward hug in the end. But these things will smooth out. There was circling jokes around 21 days diet. And misunderstanding of English.

This was clearly not the right connection. You can be friend though.

Ideally there should be a little bit knowing each other and resonance over common ground and playfulness. And it is clear when the connection is right conversation flows. When connection wrong such is the nature of experiments and you learn in the process.

When you are in your substance then there is a comfort level of other person that needs to be consider when you want to escilate. The sexual topics are different then rapport base. It is more of like what i find attractive about you. Aren’t you feeling lonely. With the smilie on your face, you should be more feminine.

What I need to do is be comfortable esciallating physically. Stay at the sexual intent. Lead and end. Just keep praticing it will come.