The opportunities and integration play.

Yesterday I met two girls who were interested in me. The first one is ahens She clearly liked me and as we started talking an old guy came and distracted my attention. A blocker. Start forcing no eat another one. And it killed the moment. I feel stupid to stand and move back to older conversation. than for other time there was no space. It seems forced to go in between talk or grab some one like this.

Stay. And observe next time. If you are having a good conversation. stand and listen what other person is doing and saying. Do not leave. Take a strong posture and just observe the daynamics. When he is done resume. If other person seems to be freaky, intentionally moving around and showing extra attention just move on. But the bottom line is stay and listen. Based on the intention you might give non-verbal negative feedback.

If you want to take her out and she seems interested. Ask her at the first opportunity. There is moment of discomfort or artificiality. don’t let it kill. Don’t assume. Reintiate the conversation, as soon as you saw her. so sne he took you away from me…. what is happening is there is a doubt, polarize it from your side. Be clear and let other person decide it for herself. You are not going to search other person to say. Just say when you see her.

The secon person was ihsir, She was a child in my mind. I had not much sexual attraction towards her. and the conversation moved in a way it usually move with me. Connection based on common interest. But at one point she brought the point of I study sex. The man on top, feminenism. This is also a common trend, a kind of sign. A jumbo size invitation for play.

When topic of sex comes connection based on common interest is stupid. The direction must be on the dirty sides. The naughty side of other person.
The banter and tease. Infect once other person is comfartable you must move into play layer. Otherwise it is very dry. Having some connection makes it quite lubricated. Show your interest, show your desire. Polarize. Remove the confusion.

At one point she gave her phone number to me. Now what I should do with that number.

Of course without any connection and knowing the banter or subject like these can be threatening and rude.

The third scenario was deep. I don’t have any particular attraction to her. Nor there was any connection. I talked to her nicely hardly once to twice. And she had a strong crush on me.

Her methods are indirect, i will come if you come. And really poor attempts to converse. These ways are repulsing me even more. There is a yoga retreat I want to go and she want to come just because of me and I have my own agenda and I don’t want to be forced to spend time with her.

She is entitled to do whatever she wants. Your responsibility is to have your communication tight and clear. What makes communication challanging here is other person is denying the responsibility and conveying message indirectly.

What you want to convey here is I am not interested in you with any romantic relationship because I don’t feel any attraction towards you. I don’t resent you either. I will be happy to have normal conversation.

When she is doing favour to you, or showing interest in any other way. You can ask her to take resposniblity. Why are you doing it? And than it is easier to say no. I like you like a sister or friend but I am not into you.

You can also reply directly to her indirect advances by taking responsibility of your comprehension. Just to make it clear. I like you like a sister or friend but I am not into you. I am sensing you seems to like me. To just get it out to make sure we are on the same page.

What you must not do it is keep it vague and keep replying positively that kind of give misleading signal that you like her too.

You have no control over her reactions sad, angery, or even bitchy. These are her problem which she needs to face.