Relationship puzzle. Offering and what I want.

Attraction, when you see a girl, especially pravocative. Maybe if you see someone with collar. It envoke an emotion in the mind. The attraction. And I know this is because of the garbage in my head. This is very superficial and just an illusion. Lin wore sexy dress on the first date. This is useless.

Need, I can’t live by myself. It is uncomfortable and this thought oh that was such a good time, the tease in the heart make that thought more lucrative. In this unbalanced state attraction becomes even more sharp.

In the relationship, I spent a lot of time playing with her, there is another element of sensuality, a lot of time there is a give and take of normal conversation. Sometime there is not. Sometime she helps me, some time I help her. It has it’s pros and negative. But it can never be substitution of self reliance. There are some degree of sacrifices, there is some degree of effort. It could be about helping each other.

Lin, she seems to be simple, honest and sharing kind of a person. She is not some diva, but she dress simply and sometime can ratchet it up. She has a good observation, and has spritual inclination. She is shy and has hard time expressing herself. She keeps the house clean, Independent. And has somewhat my personality type. She is loyal kind of person. She thinks and compromise, and don’t need much mantianacne. She likes me, and the more I know the more I like her. She doesn’t demand much, she has low self esteem. She is mature, and she really likes me. She has good heart. She is struggling inside. Although she is the kind of person I can see myself living with. She is not controlling.

She also has week stomach, low energy. She is chinesss and has controlling family. She is 2-3 years old than me. She has a low self esteem.
She talks about cancer and puffed up

I once said strict no and then came back, that put a crumble in the level of trust.

Ritika, she was weird, she likes the way I looked but extremely amature, it would have been very hard to be with her for an hour. Preksha seems pretty good from outside but as I knew a little bit more, she is drinking, unreliable. Etc. sixen is lesbian. Sneha There is no one who is perfect everyone is wiered in a sense including me. Mummy, Papa, Prachi, Ashish, Akhil.

If both like each other, it is the person who is less needy will decide. The person who is less mature will feel hurt.

Sex, this is messy part, I have sexual desires, I have fantasies too, now I also have beliefs around the relationship between sex and mind. And authority proof by Buddha and Patanjali. Can we be in a relationship without sex, or how can we make it in a way that it is balanced and not disturbing the mind.

Than there is the thing about child and marraige and all that which might be the eventual on the road.