The relationship with Hrishi.

I have a history with hrishi, he was my manager, Although there is a common values, and somewhat similar spark. There is difference visible in actions. He lives very hatcially. Somewhat unorganised and unclear .Sometime there is self, most time this image he talks from. Ofcourse every relationship has good and bad.

There are two yardstick, is there a possibility of great companion relationship, or is it filling my emotional tank. Or is it just a formality of a past relationship. Or is it about business.

To have a companion relationship, there has to be maturity, common respect and real overlap of sparks and values. There must be authenticy. No common respect, superficial conversation and pretending overlap will not work. Nor I want a relationship of mutual deprecation or fake support.
Both of the person should be willing to put the effort to flourish it. You can also have a compassionate relation. But don’t fool it with companionship.

Yesterday I sense a disrespect and unwillingness of putting effort. I also felt the fakeness and sense of superiority in conversation. There was a lack of care, focus on self interest. I am drawing these assumptions based on delay of message reply, negotiating tone and a feeling I am having. It seems more to me as a formality from hrishi side than genuine desire to meet.

I am not feeling excited about this meeting, and there is a compromise in my daily work scedual, And I don’t want to travel 1 hour to meet him. While he don’t want to put effort of moving 5 km. a part of me also feels like cheated and used.

I am willing to put effort, if there is a possiblity of good companion relationship. Which I don’t think can be possible without respectful ground. Let go you are only leading towards emotionally draining relationship with expectations and disrespect.

Now the question is how can you tell him a firm but loving NO with the real and direct reasaon. I will love to change the decision and go if there is real respect and willingness to put effort.

I love to meet you, but bellendure is way to far from my place. It will take me more than an hour. And I am also here in bangalore for only few days and have a lot of work in pipeline, so I will have to pass on this. Have a good time.

Now he can take it personally. Or so indirect dissatisfaction, or behave in any way he prefer to do.

If you know what you want and you can’t keep adding what you don’t want or give shit about will only fill the space of the puzzle not your soul. It is good to see how they respond to the boundaries. If we don’t everything suffer the work we hold most sacred and relationships they take back seat.

respect yourself, respect your integrity, if you can’t say no, you are not incharge.

Other can ask whatever they want, let them ask first. Wait for the question. Don’t apologise or defend when it is not neccesary. Don’t ask permission, you have a right. Strengthen you position. Broken record. Don’t wait for acceptance. Accept consequences.