The bump. Uninspired, unbalanced and unsatisfied.

I read Bhagwat Gita in the morning and there is visibially push in the heart. There is another feeling or arre yaar. There is no strong pull towards the direction. There is pull from the lower direction and I am kind of suppressing them. And its not pretty.

Ok lets tackle them one by one.

Uninspiried : How do I know! I don’t want to wake up early, things are routine, I don’t feel much pull from the things I am doing. I want to go back home early. I am not motivated.

When I felt the motivation!. I was feeling motivated to come back home when Lin was here. I feel motivated to read through that book on negotiation and I am motivated to read through the crucial accountability.

The motivation is feeling of excitement and enthusiasm.

Another thing is I feel like I am doing things for the sake of it, I am not feeling long term pull. The depth in work is missing. If I put the depth than it slows things down.

I seems to loose why I am doing this.

Why am I doing this!! Why am I keep cultivating myself in the areas of self realization, social life, work, health. There is nothing else or no other way to live a better life. The default is hell.

What should I do!
Go do a Job in synechron, watch Tvshows, porn, Drink, talk intellectually, trying hard for relationship. And then fight and blame, and lead to the road of hell. Somehow keep myself busy. Just do one thing.

The problem is not as much as missing motivation. Which is coming from having a strong desire. The real problem is having this other emotion and related thoughts.

The other emotion is the emotion of heart sink, fear.

So you are forgetting your why and the emotions of doubt, fear and anxiety is taking over it’s place. The solution is to relase these emotions and remind yourself why you are doing it.