Where Am I Going!!

Some times I can get too close to detail that I distance from the larger picture. Without larger picture it seems to become mechanical than inspiring. Where am I going exactly ?

Almost an year back I was really lost, it shrink my heart to recall that I was becoming trapped. I was eating garbage. My life was function of others desires. I was working on the most meaningless thing in the world. Not being able to communicate was tearing my heart apart. I was alone without a clue. i was hustling though but almost no time and map to get out of it. Everyday a little more deeper in the hell. Helpless.

I lived this year. I did what mattered to me. I learnt what matter to me. I was inspired. A book after another book, an experiment after another experiment. Than another book. A poor conversation. Than a better, than a meaningful. Than another book. Than I start drinking more water. Less caffeine. More fruits. Another book. Than first draft of what mattered to me. Than second. Than another heart touching conversation. Than learning to breath deeper. Than think more. Understand more. Share more. Than another book. Than I smile more, than a found my favourite place near the beach of Ganga, quite, still, gazing intto the forest. Than I laugh till I started to cry. Than mediation retreats. Another conversation. Yoga. Acting. Another book.. Every week, everyday I chose and act best at my understanding and capacity and everyday it stretched my capacity and understanding. Everyday I Moved the needle a little bit further. Put another drop of effort and understanding. There is no other way I know which can even come closer to compete with what I experience this year.

My self understanding and understanding of the world has increased. My health is phenomenal. My personal power is strong. I am more clear. My conversations and relationships are much better. My posture is firm. Breath is deep. I can feel my intuition. All the energy drainers are being removed. There is a momentum in my ship and a compass I trust. Like in a middle of see, I don’t know where I am going. But in a way, I know. Infect there is a sense of thrill in this not knowing.

So where am I going ? Don’t ask. Trust. And keep moving. If not this than what else ? Working for money and stuff like a machine ? Marriage and house hold ? Be known ? Drink and party ? There is no other alternative is even in the radar. The only thing you need to worry about is the speed of the ship.