Winning and explaining.

I am right - even before reading Akhil’s mail I rejected his point of view. Before even reading it I said no. Even before he showed me the logo I said no. I did the same with shantu, I already had a preconceived notion and than just dismiss them as some one not worthy of listening. I listen to Micheal singher. When I don’t trust other person I don;t even listen to their point of view. When I believe they are shallow or coming from the lower place or deeper ignorance.

A very close cousin to it is winning an argument. I am trying hard to win these arguments. And when I learn some new concept I quickly go back and explain it to someone in my head.

When ever there is conflict of beliefs I will try to protect myself by demolishing other. Proving there belief wrong.

wanting other to fail - when I check the YouTube there is desire that own brother should not have more sucbscriber, I am looking for the reason to saymus child will fail. If I sense other person is getting ahead of me, I try to justify I why they will fail and somehow I am better than others.

checking what others are doing - there is a desire to see what other people are doing and than again competing in a way. And then I compare myself and then trying hard to bring them down.

explaining others - once I understand something in the field of mind I quickly explain that to someone. In a subtle way I also prove other wrong, I also keep explaining things to so many people in my mind.

abusive - sometime there is just this abuse, chutiya, for no reason. Just like that.

competing - there is a sense of competion in that yoga class, the girl next to me, I want to do more longer pose than her. One thing is want is impress her.