With and without the seed of desire.

An experience happens and it triggers the circular emotions, that becomes the cause of the desire. To not feel that. Becauase that emotion feels bad.

This is what happened with the incident with Prabeesh and unable to speak at farewell, it created the strong desire to overcome that. Than it accompanied by the fear of partner and age. That intensified the desire. It created a very strong pull. Which lasted for more than an year.

At this point the desire has passed or atleast partially. i still feel the pull to read books after books. A part of it is lead by desire and a part is lead by desire of mastery or incomplete knowledge.

Programming, meditation, health, they are all following the same pattern.

MetaInsight was on the other hand was built more with understanding than desire. Yet once the kind of goal is setup and I am certain, it is kind of the same. Reading and watching the video feels same. Hustling and growing feels same, wether it was MetaInsight or github or acting class or speaking class or building a relationship.

You selected the mental image, get the right information, built the dense nural network. Fail and triumph. Going deeper and master. And then free from it.

Emotion and understanding are two source. Enough samsakara creates the force and interest. Failing and triumphs creates temporary pull and push. Enough understanding desolve it.