Reset.

Now there is a very clear point. The way I am going forward is not going to work, and I have to reinvent myself and take some decisions. This kind of going with the flow is a problem.

On the other hand I am completely capable of doing long retreat by myself, I have to resolve this point here. and come to the place of clarity.

Clean the house and start the process. If takes six months, let it take. but come to the clear plan of action.