a month in jaaga. well i feel like I am totally digging this whole travel thing. one awesome realisation was

I didn’t had to fit in to the corporate IT job bullshit. I was headed on better path. yet because it was disruptive and new, I didn’t had enough confidence in it. and offcourse i was not very skilled.

coming back to my experience in jaaga. it was very good see the way these people are running things on ground level. facing and solving the challanges like power cut. insects, rain on pallatrax. while on pallatrax , rise and fall of it totally mind banding experience ). sleeping in dom and pallatrax was also some experience. also learnt to play and love TT :) although I tried to learn swimming on custom pool but got sick instead and

meet a lot of interesting people like freeman, akshay, shantu, sethu, peter, ramesh, ansal, mule, prasanna, abhinay, abhijit, prashant, faatma...

moving in to bangalore, ending up in this nice place for next 1 month. I really want to utilise this time and dedicate myself for very specific goal and this post is about that specific goal.

the best thing I could do is, master a very narrow skillset and get back to freelancing before end of this month. and generate some cash flow. because it kind of start coming into the way.

so what exactly is that narrow skillset is:

javascript MVC/Design patterns:

I should be able to understand all the design patterns and code in framework and build metaList( or something interesting ) in all the popular MV* framework finally able to launch metaMVC framework at the end of the month.

so the first step is ofcourse learning design patterns, second step would be to learn MVC framework and build metalist in each of them.

it is so easy to lost and start measuring yourself on the surface parameters. it is so easy to let the life take decision and play the role of victim. way too easy to submit to the mediocrity. so easy to go for tangible success. but it has a unreasonable cost the waste of such a wonderful life

practically it’s not easy infect it is insanely hard to voluntarily struggling in something which is not giving tangible result in terms of success measured by society . but in the long run it is extremely valuable.

don’t forget what are you doing and why. I am trying to cultivate my love for programming and the only way to do it by struggling in it.

sometime in the middle of a struggle mind start playing tricks. may be something else will get me the more pleasurable senses. may be being famous would be so much fun. may be he is more happy. it’s nothing more than agitation in mind. and always...

so there was a lot of thoughts when i left my job what i should do. some of them were :

• start a company in education sector that would transform the world
• learn to play music, make movies or any other creative discipline
• work as a freelancer and travel the world
• teach in different schools
• create video courses
• write a book
• get a job in another country and live there
• be technical entrepreneur
• waitered in a cafe

it was very hard for me to explain why i want to do any of this, whats wrong with programming and designing. all i knew doing these things could be more pleasurable and satisfying. without having any idea what i mean by pleasure and what more signify.

more

more is a classic ego trap when one already have more than enough. maybe if i could only get more i would be happy and satisfied. it’s default when one have no idea of why he is doing what he is doing, sometime it...

what it is now

after spending some times in himalayas, tushita and meditation, i think i can understand more clearly my current philosophy, direction of life, and reason of dissatisfaction. this graph shows my current compass through which I am navigating my life on top of it i learned in meditation session how poorly conditioned my mind is. surprisingly when i tried to focus on breath it worries about that poor engineer as big dino is getting closer in Jurassic park, a movie i saw atleast 10 years back.

as I start to notice about my drives it seems to me I am in healthy relationship with materialistic things and sensory pleasure. I could also clearly say I love technology ( programming, designing, etc ) and feels quite confident in it. although it tease me that just being technology expert is not enough, not unique and even inferior when i see a developer as a replaceable small...

it is amazing how much premium our society puts on being a chatterbox, having a good character is not good enough any more, you need to display it . being skilled is not that important, displaying it has more value in terms of societies rules and god forbidden if you are one of those types who thinks before speaking and feels better to say nothing than gibberish, you might be considered as antisocial.

it seems to me the dominating part of our society lives on surface with no depth or centre and promotes impostors. presentation skills trumps true leadership, fitting in is more important than authenticity, solitude considered as a disease. and working in team and groups is a social norms.

but how could an artist works in a group, how would a man of character would ever display it. how would a reward oriented perspective would ever bring genuine peace or happiness.

I’ve been in places...

after graduation ( no surprise engineering ) and learning programming I was quite passionate to work in MNC. one reason was, i always loved the idea of being programmer and the right reason was promise of good monthly salary, nice office, onsite and all that social perks it gives you. isn’t that the dream they sold us.

i never cared about what products I’m working on, I was in flow with herd enjoying competitive age I had over my other colleague and occasionally fuelled by motive to get kind of work I believe is better to do, because i chooses it. when it all stops giving me kicks i thought it would be better to join a company with smarter people and indeed i did the same and after 1 more year and fairly good programming experience a new perspective evolved

programming or even technology is just a tool what really count is what you do with it. building an application according to...

couple of months back I left my job, moved to this amazing place in himalayas and doing different things that resonate with me like reading, living in solitude, having deep conversation with different kind of people, visiting new places, making video courses ( didn’t get that far ). but under the skin this question keeps arriving, is it all going somewhere or it is just dillydallying? This post is an attempt to answer this question to my self.

It all starts with simple question am I happy to be a mediocre? is it enough to live by the script? to become a high performance average? give the control of your life to others hand so you don’t have to decide much? stop wondering?

Ofcourse this isn’t living this is barely surviving and all this for false security and pointless society acceptance. although realising realty is not tough part. the tough part is to figure out what you really want...

What’s the core difference between you and steve jobs ? Why mahatma gandhi sacrificed his life while a lot of the people trapped in narcissism ? Why so much difference ?

The difference is our beliefs and I mean our real beliefs ( chances are we are not even aware of them ) not the one we tell ourself to feel good. Changing one’s belief can change their very course of life. For an example if jimmy has a core belief that if he fails people will reject him forever chances are he will avoid social interaction and tells himself it doesn’t really matter that much to feel good.

So the question arises how come jimmy formed that belief and is it possible to change that belief and how come we can validate if he has truly changed it.

Although the research on belief is poor and have no solid argument on how it formed but the way i understand is belief is more than result of experience but the...

Perspective is probably most important ingredient to be happy and a perspective of gratitude is what differentiate from whole hearted person to a wanderer.

One of the best example of perspective is from book The Noticer:

A person was on the verge of suicide met an old man Jones. The old man told him that how he is a smart and creative person because worry in itself is a creative process negative yet very creative.

Another wonderful example of perspective is how we interpreted love. 4 ways of love interpretation according to jones are.

• by doing deeds, or small things for people
• by telling them
• by spending quality time with them
• by physically touching them

And an easy way to understand whats your dialect is to notice what you do when you express love. Such a powerful way to start noticing differences in perspective and how small shift in right direction can help you form...