For pretty much the whole day, I was slipping into the background. there was this understanding of whatever chatter is going on is just the product of desires and conditioning. And it is not me. Wether it is desire of acceptance or desire of being nice. I could listen without attachment.
This actually gives me the space to act from the intelligence. Not impulses,
In general I don’t have a clear idea what I should be doing. So at one level I assumed I want to stay for next 6 months in rakkar and then I started to look into the places.
Another part of me who cared about others opinion. Promises for 6 months, nobody asked me to commit. But I volunteered, so it will sound good. I could have bargine better deal or didn’t negotiated on security and asked for permission for people to stay at overpriced place. That is fairly unskillful negotiation
As soon as I decided a part of me became extremely noisy about I don’t want to live, with the covert decision on I will see it after vipassana. Another part start to gravitated strongly towards bramha vidya.
If you take a decision with indecisive mind. You are not going to feel firm afterwards. Infect a little bit of challange will scatter you. A long term commitment should be avoided in this kind of case.
So I checked few places. And I am getting into the zone to stay here for longer, there is slight confusion in terms of what I want from the place.
Spritually, I need a place where I can meditate ( quiet ), do yoga, warm enough, clean, and a place where I can study.
Socially, where I can stay in a relationship with privacy and uninteruption, where I need a place where I have some friends or make some friends, where I can find people to go out with. Where I have access to some cafes and communities. A place where I have opportunity to serve as well. It has a good surrounding.
Work wise, I need a place, where I can do research, and create videos. Financially I need a place which should be within 25k with food so I am not worried about money, I can manage next 6 months in 1.5 lakh. This will leave me with 8.5lakh. Which is ok.
Health wise. I would like to have a place, where I can have...
Spirituality -
social -
Work -
Health -
He asked me what I am doing and I went on and on about the way of life. It gives the energy to my internal diloague to express itself in the light of a demand.
I could have genuinely helped him, if I see things from his perspective but I was more interested to tell my opinion. Because the desire of impressing and subtle thoughts on similar area.
Instead of telling him about Bhagwat Gita and Patanjali, mastery of love and 3% man which is not wrong, but not grounded and calibrated, much better approach would have been to see things from his point of view and give Calibrated advice this way it would have been incridbely helpful for him and also more intersting to me,
I was also close to listen to what he wants to share ofcourse he has done 30 days course more vipassana retreats. And he wanted to tell me about his books. But I wasn’t interested. It would have been good to listen to him...
The focus is to transform the education all together and bring the new kind of education. It has to be done as a bussiness.
One thing I can do in long term start taking interview specific to the education reform, or start sharing the point of views of people like Henry ford and all about the education. This will strengthen my own understanding and build the brand image on this subject.
Now the question is how can I bring the value in short term. The most obvious path seems to be creating courses on udemy. And then ratchet up. Here you need to find a subject which is in demand of other people. And you are capable of creating quality content.
And the second aspect is how can you market, grow, and sell.
Let’s do the research in this whole area and see if it is a vibal option.
I decided to wake up at 5. A part of me did woke up. The one challange is to have toxins in body, and this hardness of opening the eyes. But that was not the challange today, today it was I was woke up and then instead of moving toward mat, I decided to think about it. And then I was playing with myself…
There has to be one step after another, put the alarm and keep the mobile away. The second job is to wash your face. The third is to come to the mat. And warm up and do yoga. Do meditation. If you feel at unease you can sleep afterwards. But waking up is must.
Today I confronted dada in a very diplomatic way, negotiated the deal, instead of getting angry, reaffirm, and repair.
The situation was such that I was kind of loosing trust in him because of his conduct on the baroat trip. And even later he was trying to message extra charges and completely willing to fight.
The situation is somewhat willing to take the bigger share in the business and taking advantage of other persons nice behavior, and taking it as a weakness. And the second aspect was the lack of communication and being silent so other person back down.
It was interesting to see how much he wanted to avoid the conversation, oh ya ok. He wasn’t willing to go through any confrontation.
There was absolutely no blaming.
People are sick and they are going to avoid responsibility, trying to take advantage, dominate, become aggrasive and all these things are expected. There are also...
So I stayed for here for a month, I was generous, paid everything upfront, and now I am being taken advantage of.
My stay for month wasn’t bad, and the mistake I did was assumed certain things. I assumed we would charge me for poha same as he would charge me for khichadi. But I am sure that’s not the case.
Yesterday I saw he was trying to slip 200 rs. extra. And that broke the trust.
Now he is 50+, and drinks a lot, probably has been ripped many times. He is also crafty and manipulative, and there are people like that.
All the sudden he is playing very defensive and aggressive, and he is pushing, trying to threaten me wants to fight.
He is actually trying to ask for 700 extra, and maybe something extra in food.
A part of me wants to say you motherfucker, cheating and then trying to show me and tell me how wrong he is, and then this is an opportunity to handle these scenario.
What...
Spiriutally, I should be able to wake up 5 and practice yoga and meditation and should have evening time for mediation and and integration. Every third month I should be able to do or serve a retreat.
Socially, I should be able to understand diplomacy, negotiation, some place I can practice compassion, some place where I can connect with right community and explore relationship. A place where I receive constant stream of challenges but not overwhelmed by it.
A place where I can research and think it through of the next step.
A place where sattvik food is available, privacy to do yoga practice.
On the level of option, I can have a place of my own in Dharamshala, I can rent short term in rishikesh, I can continue living with dada. I can go and live in Bangalore. I can live in Chang mai.