Q1. Why did You close the communication?
A. I believe I needed more experince, I was all about learning, Actually i was in a phase where I cared less about relationship more about skill of relationship, primary driving force was to become more experiecned, i like the time together but I never even conceived to be anything more than learning experince. I thought I will get into more relationship and learn more.

Q2. Why you restart the communication?
A. I like being with you, I like the connection and closeness. I want this. Someone to be with. To talk to. To hold and to kiss. To have dinner and breakfast. It makes life easy and beautiful. I want to be in the relationship. Spent as much time with you as possible.

Q3. Why difference in the priority?
A. Attraction, similarity, connection, ease all the element that I want in a relationship is there. Kavita, Vidhi, Preksha even J these are...

Attraction - are you attracted by Vidhi! The high heel and the cleavage in salsa class, how about the well dressed in Dwani, Did the attraction drops as they start to talk to you. Or when they are standing in the relative scene dharmashala. Did you felt attraction towards Shenaz. This is the trick of the mind. And it is loosing it’s power by the time.

When someone has the smooth and well maintained body, fine clothes, vivid presentation, I feel attraction, I feel like a want to see more. But that attraction is much lower than what it used to be and is not something I want to act upon but master. And it is the matter of time I will master it.

Similairity - Kavita was very unsimilar than me, Deepika had similiar interest. Shenaz was completely different than me, lin has similiar interest.

What I am intersted in! Spirituality, self understanding, meditation, yoga, simple...

Do you even wants to get married?
The data is piling up with experince. A part of me felt yesterday that it is not really that that important after all.

If I never get married, I will still meet a lot of people. And can be in a relationship with out being married. Jenny. Preksha. At any stage of life.

A good relationship in the marriage, could be a good foundation. A grounding where you are satisfied with this aspect of your life and not looking for anything more.

I am not like many people, not many people are like me. There is no possiblity of real deep relationship with for example Kavita.

A relationship put its own tax and ease.

The ignorance and assumptions needs to be rooted out.

What if I can get something better is the sign of lack of knowing what I want.

There is circling thought around marraige and long term commitment, and It is making me unsettling. Lin never really asked for any thing long term. It is me who is assuming all this.

I want to be in the long term relationship, for the sake of relationship, closeness, connection and intemacy. I wanna be in one wholeheartedly.

This is my conditioning actually, that if I am with someone I had to be married. Just like mahatma gandhi. This isn’t necessary condition for her.

What you have to do is relax and enjoy the relationship. Instead of complicating with all this.

If you see it from her point of view, she is alone from last month, doing yoga TTC to keep herself busy. She was actually very happy when she was with me.

She is not stupid, she is living in a foreign countary, supporting herself, living in a dignified manner. She can think for herself.

What this relationship is the deep...

The thing is I like her just the way she is, and she likes me just the way I am. Relationship even though the vital element is not the center of my life. As this area is more settled down, I can shift my focus to my purpose of life. And spirituality.

The amazing thing about lin is she is aligned in the same areas and is a good, honest, independent, supportive and reliable person.

Now the real relationship is about the balance, and a fine balance it is. About intemacy, independence, novelty, excitements. Expectations. While you are doing what you suppose to do without this area creeping into your life.

Be with her, balance it, treat her like she is your partner.

Yesterday I went to lin house, and have a wired connection which melted into the rebounding and it’s like yesterday. I stayed with her. And It is kind of the same.

The thing about her is, she is nice, normal person. Have similiar interest and ease of connection, open to everything. I don’t have to fool around her. She is kind of stright forward person who seems to be able to take care of herself. There isn’t the pull of other side. Or too much tax. And when we are together it is kind of fun, and exhausting.

In a way, I don’t know anyone better than her in terms of relationship, simple, stright forward, heart ot heart connection. But then she is 2-3 year older than me, have some health issue and Chinese which has implications of it’s own.

I wanna be in a relationship and enjoy my time with her. Balance the relationship and truly be in one. Rather than dipping my feet on the surface. I...

The power of dependence to make you at unease, lies into your self importance nature. When you polarised on the layer of self, it becomes you vs me, when someone’s demand or request comes in between your desires you becomes aggressive, defensive, withdrawn.

This is the root cause the mental game of accpetance. Righteousness and desires. The self mastery and light of truth are the real solution. And I am working on it everyday with intensity. But then it will take its time.

The worse approach is reactive.

The best approach is satyagrah| Boundaries| Corrective communication| Mid-way suggestion. Solution oriented thinking. Making best of what we have. This has to be consistently practiced.

The better communication is where you deeply listen adn make sure that other person is understood. Empthaise and then communicate either boundaries, corrective feedback or midway approach.

The...

Couple of days back, I went out with Kavita, i asked her for pizza, she said yes. Now she was going through tough time and probably don’t have that much attraction. And hanging out with me was unnecsarry expensive. I kind of didn’t give her choice.

There was no communication but closedness. She is not my type, and very much non-similar, no interest in yoga|mediation|self-growth, very much into smoking|driniking|Vocation.

I took her out because there seems to be resonance. And this is the thing if there is no common ground it is going to be intensified with time.

Here is the perfect example you did what you did and she isn’t the right fit.

Now yesterday, she did something, I sit next to her and she ignored me, a non-verbal rejection. I feel at unease. Now there could be many reasons, she is loosing job, bad appresial. Fighting in roommates, 1000 different problems, but I took it...

So yes, I enjoyed my time with Lin, it was very filling experince, she trusted me, liked me, and never did anything mean, infect what frustated me a bit is too much giving of gifts.

If I go back to her and somehow relationship rekindled. I might have some good cherishing moment with her. And you might like it. But that will end soon too.

Although It can be insanely enriching and learning experience to stay with someone you are into heart to heart connection.

Even if she is perfect you just need more experince for any kind of commitment.

I don’t know her mind but she is probably looking for partner. But then she is mature and can make decision for herself. And what we had was amazing than passing time in yoga class.

Do one thing, Go to her place tonight, talk to her, say sorry you should have communicated better, see what she is doing, communicate the reason you broke up was...

What is this force that is pulling me to put this much effort and meet people I don’t even like so much. There is this desire right, and it is not logical but emotional, and when I see someone who can fulfill this desire, there is this greedy kind of feeling that take over.

This desire can not be fulfilled, first it has no shape, it is a feeling how would you fulfill that. This desire will still be there even if you are in the relationship, It can be transcended though with understanding and experince. but it can not be filled with dating, acceptance and sex.

The heart to heart connection feels good and filling but that too is momentary, rejection and domination feels pericing but that too is water under the bridge.

Even if you never date anyone from now, there is not much that you will miss out. Although your desire will make you suffer.

Transcend this desire with understanding and...